How to Be An Example to a Spouse Who’s Unsupportive of a Healthy Lifestyle

Today, I will pull no punches… This is a topic I get asked about a lot, I think primarily because my husband and I both strive to look/feel healthy. Unfortunately, we know a lot of couples who struggle with getting on the same page. After all, I would think that physical health would be a concern for a spouse. I will be preaching to both teams, guys and girls today, and it may be a little uncomfortable…

 “She gained all that weight; on our wedding day, she looked amazing, but man, everything has gone downhill. Here I am, trying to eat right and exercise, and she’s ordering from Papa John’s again.” I have heard this from a lot of men…they like to blame it on their wife. I mean, hello, we’re in the south, and many women still take care of the cooking in their homes. Well, listen up dudes, why not lead by example. Pack your own lunch everyday.Pack your own breakfast. Invite, don’t demand, that she join your workout. Sit down and have a conversation – it shouldn’t begin with, “So, I noticed you’ve been eating a lot hear lately” or, “Hey, don’t eat that it’ll make you fat”…Let her know you’re concerned about her energy levels, and how she feels. Basically, throw your ego to the curb. Let her know you have some goals, and you’d love for her support in this…then carry on. Focus on the positives. If you set an example, then she will follow….maybe not immediately, but it will happen.

 “Every time I ask about a gym membership/workout program”, he says, “You can’t spend anymore money.Our budget is tight.” Whoo boy…if I have heard this once, I’ve heard it a thousand times…OK…maybe it’s time for you to re-budget..I respect my hubby’s words, but I also know that if my health is important to me, then I will come up with that money. Do I really need 15 sweaters in my closet? 10 Pairs of boots? Do I really need that Starbucks frappe every day? Do we really need to eat out 2x a week as a family? Spending is all about your priorities. Do you really need a pedicure 1x a month – that’s the cost of a Beachbody Club or gym membership right there! If he’s still unsupportive, then look on pinterest for some fitness ideas, but make sure your understand how to properly perform workouts first…simply, use common sense. Who’s excuse is this anyway?

“Sweetheart, you never eat healthy foods. You’re always eating junk food….wah, wah, wah…” Ok, I think your spouse knows that what they’re doing is unhealthy, but nagging is no help. Instead, break down barriers that let them know how much it means to you that they want to take care of themselves. Get to the root of the “why” they keep procrastinating….Ask the question, then let them talk. Be a sincere listener. Hey, your love life might improve a little… There is something to be said for being attracted to your spouse…That goes for both of you.

“Look at this as an adventure. We can do this together.” Micah and I are doing 21 Day Fix Extreme right now, and it is awesome! We look forward to no hassle meals and our sweat dates.  To parents….stop the whole North American parenting syndrome. If your children are old enough, they should be able to let mom and dad workout in peace for 30 minutes. Ladies…give them a book to read…it’s good for their brains. Or turn it into a family affair. It takes a team to be accountable.

“Let them pick out recipes and workouts that interest them too.” You are both unique…bring those unique tastes together and have fun on your fitness journey

I hope this helps, but remember, you are the example, but be a loving one, your consistency will be the biggest impact on whether or not they join you on your journey.

1 Corinthians 13:7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Until next time! 

Julie  

Motivational Monday: what challenge do you face?

So, it was a tough week last week. Learned a lot, laughed a lot, and cried a lot, but definitely am better for it.If you haven’t figured out by now, it’s been a pretty rough six months for me. There, I thought I would just spell it out for you. It’s been difficult to get workouts in when you carry a lot of responsibility, but a word to my procrastinating friends, it is worth every second. Between all the fixer-upper projects around the house and Micah finishing school, some days, I feel like my brain and heart want to explode. One thing God has taught me through all this is perseverance, and to keep pressing on, no matter what anyone else says, what He says matters more. Here we are, 20 days from the finish line, and I look at how many prayers have been answered, how many tears have been shed, and how much this time of growth has been a blessing. My challenge to you this week is look your obstacle straight in the eye. Stop pretending it’s not there, stop trying to get around it; work through it. It could be not wanting to confront an eating habit that is wrecking your health. It could be not making any time to exercise. Whatever it may be, you can either decide to give up, or you can become stronger through it. My next advice is practical. Write down steps to your goals. I’m not exactly perfect at executing these plans myself yet, but there are tools out there that can help you. Stop saying you can’t keep a planner or even write down long term goals. Just stop it. The book, Home School, High School, and Beyond by Beverly Adams-Gordon has great resources, not just for high schoolers, but for anyone who needs a little direction, I’m an artsy type, so I need a lot of it. She helps you break down your long-term goals into short-term goals of 5 years, 2 years, 1 year, 6 months, and quarterly goals, and even weekly goals. My point is, it is worth the time, effort, and resources, to look at ways to overcome obstacles. There are tons of organizational forms on Pinterest. There is something out there that will suit your unique personality, but the first step is just do something, even if it involves notebook paper and a pencil, start writing down what you want to accomplish. It’s worth it. Hiding does not make the obstacle your facing go away, but creating a battle plan helps you to overcome it. There, that’s my motivational soapbox for the week. Anything worth having is worth working hard for.